Shy??

Shyness is something that all people experience at one time or another. In most cases it is a regular, short-term behavior. Being shy as a child is normal particularly when they are around 5‑6 months of age, and then again at the age of two. In this case, shyness is considered a normal part of development. However it starts becoming a problem in a child when it gets in the way with relationships with other people, with social situations, school, or other important parts of a child's life. Problems with shyness start showing when a child reaches three years old. Shyness is fear of other people or social situations. This reaction can have different reasons depending on the child and the specific conditions. This negative reaction is so dangerous that it can follow a child into adulthood. For example, it can lead to low self esteem, lack self confidence, and difficulty in making friends. Some shy children are so quiet that they don't get the help they need from teachers and this might lead to poor school performance. A shy child is usually nervous in new situations and is usually scared and fearful when meeting someone or speaking in public. A shy child prefers not to join in but rather observe what is happening. Most children feel shy from time to time but the problem becomes dangerous when this shyness feeling doesn’t disappear. Parents should help children with their shyness. Professional help is needed in severe cases. (Asendorpf, 1993). Shy children may refuse to enter a classroom without being with a parent. Such children may not want to participate in athletic or dance activities, they may always be looking at the ground when surrounded with their friends and they may go to great extremes to avoid being noticed (for example a shy child might say "Don't whistle, dad; people will look at us").

WHY CHILDREN BECOME SHY (CAUSES OF SHYNESS)
Shyness can have many different causes. Sometimes the cause may be specific while in others shyness may occur for a number of different reasons. The reasons are the following:
*Difficulty with frequent exposure to new situations. Children are frequently exposed to new situations since they are not as experienced as adults and because of this some have trouble coping with new situations and tend to withdraw.
*Heredity. Some research has shown that shyness runs in families. It is not yet sure however if in this case shyness is genetic or learned later on.
*Inconsistent parenting. Some shyness may be caused by parenting practices that are not steady. For example, punishing a child and then letting it go or maybe being over involved with a child yet uninvolved at other times. This makes the child feel insecure and leads to shyness.
*Too much threatening, teasing, or criticism. Children, who are frequently threatened, teased or criticized, either by family members or by other people may learn to expect only negative feedback from others. This expectation will lead to the avoidance of social situations and contact with other people.
*Lack of parental involvement. Another reason could be being disinterested in the child’s life. For example, parents might believe that by giving their child independence this way they let their children learn for themselves. Other parents may not have the time to be involved with their children. This reaction can affect a child’s social relationships, and will probably feel very uncomfortable in social situations.
*Lack of experience in social situations. Children may become shy because they have not yet learned how to effectively take part in social situations. Because of this children might feel afraid and want to withdraw.
*Low self‑esteem or negative opinion of oneself. Children who have low opinions of themselves expect others to be the same and this can lead to shy behavior.
*Overprotective parents. Being too overprotected as parents does not give the opportunity for children to be independent socially, therefore children will lack the confidence needed to make decisions for themselves, causing insecurity.
*Modeling or learned behavior. Because children learn from watching their parents, parents who are shy often have children who are shy. These kinds of parents have hardly any friends and this will make their children to have difficulty learning how to make friends and how to behave socially.
*Shy temperament. Some children seem shy almost from birth. Sometimes these shy babies grow into being shy children.

WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT SHYNESS
Shy behavior is linked with a number of positive behaviors and this may take place because shy children care so much about what others think of them (Sanson et al., 1996). These include:
 Doing well at school
 Behaving and not getting in trouble (engage in less social misbehavior than other children)
 Listening attentively to others
 Being easy to look after WHAT’S BAD ABOUT SHYNESS
Shyness professionals and specialists vary in their views about whether childhood
shyness leads to mental health problems later on in life. However, what is clear is the
emotional effect. Shy children gain less practice of social skills and develop fewer
friends. They are likely to avoid activities, such as sports, drama, and debate that would
put them in the public eye. These children are seen as shy, unfriendly and feel lonely and
have low self-esteem (Chung & Evans, 2000). This may result in becoming an anxious
teen. Shy adults may feel less satisfied than others with their social support networks.